I wonder how many people on here actually earn money as artists.

I would think very few. a hobby for some is better quality than what I plan to make a career.

there was a time when I would use this anal need to compare myself to others to my advantage, and grow and compete. but now, it's just depressing.

I think I've lost my gusto. after working so long without giving up (I graduated high school dammit, and if that wasn't a pain in the ass . .) I would feel so dumb to quit now . . but I kind of just can't take it anymore. the workload is killing me.

I dunno. I'm going to have a big "how's your life going" talk with my mom, trying to weigh whether I should quit school or maybe take a year off, or get a job, or reconsider majors. hopefully it'll turn out well. though I don't know what well means. but I hope it means some sort of short break. what's that? spring break you say? it'll be the busiest time of the semester for me. I'm gunna use all that time I'm not in class and work my ass off. hopefully. maybe it'll be better to have the conversation with my mom after I've done all my work . . cause if we ultimately decide nothing's going to change, I don't think I'll have the energy to work. then again, it would be pointless to work if I were quitting school. who knows. I hope it works itself out, with a bit of help from me. I'm too tired to work it out all by myself.